Humour Assignment

VIOLENT VIDEO GAMES; POSSIBLE SURVIVAL GUIDES TO A POST-APOCALYPTIC FUTURE

By MICHAEL YOO

              

               Many of the most popular video games today take place in extreme, dangerous settings such as war frontiers, and often in post-apocalyptic landscapes. In a society where research has proven that in the near future, there will be possibilities of the world experiencing a catastrophic apocalypse, whether it may be zombies, aliens, or an all-out war against robotic machines, these violent video games are suggested to be the key to survival. But the question is; are these video games violent and real enough to prepare young children for a post-apocalyptic future? To answer this, we have gathered the most knowledgeable professionals of this category.

               “I definitely think that these video games are enough to prepare our kids for what’s to come in the future. Our children will need to learn beforehand the important skills of survival that are necessary during any type apocalypse, such as finding machine gun ammo in an abandoned mansion, and leading a squadron of soldiers against heavily armed robots. And the violent video games offer a chance for children to visualize and learn these skills crucial for survival,” explained Tel Evision, a former professor in the Harvard studies of media and politics.  

               “But those are the skills that might not even come in handy during an apocalypse of any sort,” argued Bob Hasel, a history teacher in Cleveland Elementary school. “Our children need more sophisticated expertise, like how to build shelters in the middle of nowhere and being able to gather firewood in places like Manhattan.”

               “Your arguments are weak Mr. Hasel. It is true that our kids should learn how to build shelters, but skills like that can be taught in many places outside of the media world. But on the contrary, where else do children get the opportunity of discovering the most efficient way of killing a zombie? Also, the violent, gory, and the explicit content displayed when a zombie or an enemy is killed in a video game will mentally benefit the children, and allow them to practice not being frightened in these cataclysmic situations.”

               “Yes I agree with Mr. Evision on this one,” stated David Benstein, an editor of New York Times sports news. “And these games don’t even need to be an accurate depiction of a post-apocalypse. They just need to demonstrate and teach the fundamental aspects of survival, which they do. Studies show that 78% of teenagers know how to cure themselves from gunshot wounds and zombie bites with medical packets, and know that it’s easier to kill terminator robots with grenades than with machine guns.”

               “But kids aren’t going to kill zombies or terminator robots just by pressing on a few buttons on a game controller. They will physically have to go up to them with an axe or any other weapon, and hack and hack and hack.”

               “But Bob, our children are going to have the rest of their lives to get actual experience to fight for survival in extreme situations. What’s important now is that we teach our children the basics of surviving these apocalypses immediately, so that they can be prepared for any type of hellish circumstance that they will find themselves in,” disputed David Benstein. “Playing videogames all day long, alone and friendless is the best way to prepare the adolescents of a post-apocalypse future and a life that is expected to be full of chaos and solitude. It is a chance that all of us will have to take for the sake of humanity.”